Mar 152017

Our Chevy Traverse, MG, and I made it home from Florida all in one piece, no thanks to I-75, its construction work, and its stop and go traffic jams. After two long and tedious days on the road, I have come to loathe the word merge.

We are in the process of recovering from our winter vacation. We’re doing it in stages.

Stage One requires getting past the feeling that we are still moving down the road in the Traverse even when we we’re standing still. ::shudder::

Stage Two involves remembering where we are—at home—when we wake up during the night if nature calls so we don’t walk into the furniture or a wall in the dark. ::ouch::

Stage Three necessitates acclimating to Michigan’s wintery weather again. ::brrr::

Stage Four entails settling back into our accustomed routines and catching up. ::groan:: At times like this, I wish I were more like my Baby Sister, the Human Energizer Bunny, so I could get everything done a lot faster.

The first item on the homecoming agenda was grocery shopping. We made sure to use up any perishables before we left for Florida. The cupboard shelves were lean and the refrigerator shelves were bare. Had Goldilocks arrived before us, she would have fled in horror to the more accommodating home of the Three Bears.

Unpacking, doing laundry from the trip, and freshening the household linens were the next items of drudgery I checked off the To Do List. No sooner had I taken care of them than MG came in with the pile of mail we had the USPS hold in our absence. I dug through it dutifully. Bills, bills, bills, magazines, and junk mail. Lots of junk mail. I really must get us back on the no junk mail list. The no call list too, while I’m at it. Those cold callers and politicians disrupt what I’m doing morning, noon, and night. ::grrr::

I noted with dread that the mail pile also included an Infernal Rip-off Service tax prep packet from our CPA. Seriously? Can it be that time of the year already? O joy.

At this rate, my work may never be done, and I’ll never catch up around here. I’ll be lucky to find time to do what I love—write. ::sniffle, sob:: I’m doing the best that I can, but that time-honored saying is definitely true: The hurrier I go, the behinder I get.

Oh, Poo! I’m LMAO! #AdvertisingHumor #BathroomHumor #humor #Poo-Pourri #VIPoo #odors

 Serious Whimsy  Comments Off on Oh, Poo! I’m LMAO! #AdvertisingHumor #BathroomHumor #humor #Poo-Pourri #VIPoo #odors
Mar 012017

You know the unholy dread you experience if you are desperate to use the necessary room to have a BM but you’re out in public, or at work, or at a friend’s house? How does one disguise or eliminate the resulting offensive odor? In a public restroom, courtesy flushes often aren’t quick enough or thorough enough. Eww. Open a window at a friend’s house, perhaps. If there is no window you could turn on the exhaust fan, but that’s a dead give away. Perhaps your host or hostess had judiciously placed a scented candle in the necessary room for just such an occasion. Excellent idea, if there is a match to be had. Oh, poo.

There is salvation from the torment mentioned above. Just ask the British, but be prepared to laugh. The Brits have a wonderfully dry, irreverent, off the wall sense of humor–or humour, as it were–especially when it comes to bathroom humor. Cottonelle Toilet Tissue’s clean bum/go commando commercials come to mind.

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Feb 222017

Our family just set up a private Facebook page for its members–and only its family members. The single rule of our page is that we post only fun and positive family stuff and photos–nothing nasty or divisive. That’s what we’re doing, and what a respite it is.

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Feb 092017

You know how bears eat like hogs (well, berries and honey, not slop) to fatten up for winter hibernation? That’s sort of what MG and I are doing in Florida for the month of February. During our first week, we’re pigging out at our favorite restaurants in Destin more than enough times to fatten a bear for hibernation all winter long.

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