Jolana Malkston

Jolana Malkston

Oct 182017

Three is a number with a storied past. Three can be a blessing or a curse.

Take The Holy Bible for example. If numerical values do not reach forty, they come in threes. (That is significant, I’m sure, but it’s a subject for another day and for a blogger who doesn’t happen to be me.)

Hollywood, with its storied but sullied past (and present), is way at the other end of the spectrum from The Holy Bible. The number three is a deadly (literally) curse in Hollywood. It invokes fear in the hearts of Hollywood denizens whenever a performer dies because its celebrities always meet The Grim Reaper in groups of three. The survivors’ collective sighs of relief when the third celeb dies are also known as the Santa Ana Winds.

While our humble household is not as exalted as those of the beautiful people, it is also subject to the power of three. So far this year, household and office equipment has failed to function properly—or at all—thrice.

First up, my iPad3 became obsolete in that its operating system can no longer be updated. I checked with Apple Tech Support. iPad3 became a glorified paperweight following the iOS 9.3.5 update. I was able to continue to use some productivity apps and a few games and puzzles for a while, but now I cannot update them either. There are 52 app updates pending that my iPad3 has so far been unable to install. Whenever I charged the iPad3, I got the feeling I was putting it on life support.

So, MG and I went iPad shopping at my favorite toy store—Best Buy. Sticker shock took our breath away. Damn, those iPads are expensive—even the minis. ::sigh::

Apple owns us. We each have a MacBook Pro, an iPad, and an iPhone5s.  We’re planning on upgrading to more current iPhone models soon, which made me consider an alternative to replacing the iPad3 with a newer iPad. If I go to the larger iPhone7Plus or 8Plus, I’ll be replacing both iPad and iPhone with one device and at a lower overall cost. Meanwhile, my iPhone5s is doing double duty.

Next, the Brother monochrome wireless laser printer we bought in 2009 ceased to Gutenberg. That was a serious blow to me. The Brother spit out double-sided draft manuscript pages soooo much faster than its older cousin, our wireless HP Officejet Pro all-in-one color inkjet printer. The hare died; the tortoise lived. And off we went printer shopping, both online and brick and mortar.

MG and I lusted after a wireless color laser printer—until we saw the price tag for each of the printer’s four color toner cartridges. ::gulp:: The HP representative at Best Buy must have observed our ashen pallor because he wisely steered us to the current and more affordable Officejet Pro all-in-one model. And now we have two Officejet Pros—one state of the art and one dinosaur. (The dinosaur is in MG’s office, but you already guessed that.)

Worst of all, our side-by-side refrigerator/freezer in the main floor kitchen suffered fatal compressor failure three days before we were to leave on an out of state visit to Firstborn and Family. I was away for a write in weekend so MG had to deal with the disaster on his own. Fortunately, we have a lower level galley kitchen so he was able to save what perishables he could by stuffing them in the refrigerator down below. Having to trudge up and down stairs whenever we needed something from the refrigerator got old in a hurry. When we returned home from our visit, we went refrigerator shopping in earnest.

Wow. I couldn’t believe what manufacturers have done with refrigerators since the last time we bought one. The high-end models are high-tech computers with refrigeration units attached. ::Cha-Ching! Cha-Ching!:: Call it pride or vanity, but MG and I didn’t care to own an appliance that was smarter than we are. Our decision came down to a choice between a French door model and a Side-by-Side Kenmore with a Grab’n’Go Door. We went with the Grab’n’Go and for the past week we’ve been having fun playing with it like a couple of little kids. Why not? We paid for the privilege, and where is it written that only kids get to have all the fun?

Sep 202017

I loved to go to the movies when I was a kid, especially on Saturday mornings. Our parents drove my Baby Sister and me to the old Lefferts Movie Theater at Lefferts Boulevard and Liberty Avenue in Queens and dropped us off for the Saturday Kiddie Matinee. The folks gave us our ticket money and money for popcorn, candy, and drinks, none of which cost anywhere near what they cost today. We saw about a dozen Warner Brothers cartoons and then an age appropriate movie. They were often comedies starring the legendary comedy team of Abbott and Costello (e.g. Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein) or The Three Stooges (e.g. Have Rocket Will Travel), or westerns starring Roy Rogers or Gene Autry. All the kids cheered and went wild when each cartoon appeared on screen and went totally nuts when the featured film began. We had fun because we were being entertained.

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Sep 062017

Occasionally, when I travel, a disaster of some sort occurs during or after my visit. I assure you, I am not to blame. It is never my fault. Mere coincidence in each incidence, that’s all. I am not a jinx.

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Aug 302017

Just about everyone has a fear of something: the dark, water, flying—lions and tigers and bears, oh my! For me, it’s heights. Yes, I’m afraid of bugs too, but I doubt I would ever fall to my death off an insect.

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