I wanted to get that out of the way first thing.

I feel sorry for MG having to put up with me, with late or no dinners, with unfolded laundry, with me staying up all night writing when I’m on a roll, and with coming home at day’s end to find me writing in my pajamas. Hair not combed. Teeth not brushed. Ugh.

Writers are eccentric. That’s the polite way of saying writers are nuts. We freely admit it because we cannot deny the obvious. We see the world differently than the rest of humanity, and our curiosity is endless. Everything is fodder for our stories, so don’t ever tell us your secrets. Be very careful what you say if one of us is within earshot. We are not above eavesdropping. We even have shirts we wear to warn you about us.

On behalf of all writers, I want to apologize for the faraway look in our eyes when you’re speaking to us. You’re correct to assume we’re not listening to you. We’re listening to voices you cannot hear—the voices in our heads, aka the characters we create. While you’re talking to us, we’re actually writing. When we sit at our computers, we’re merely transcribing what we already wrote mentally while not listening to you. [So sorry, MG.]

I’ve lost count of how many times I agreed to do something I had no interest in doing. I wasn’t paying attention to what my [husband, friend, neighbor—fill in the blank] was saying because my mind was on the manuscript I was writing. While I was in a world of my own making, the rest of me was on autopilot responding with “Uh-Huh” every so often, giving the appearance that I was all there and agreeing to whatever. For that inexcusable behavior, I deserved to suffer—and I did.

It gets worse. My mind also wanders to my work in progress during Sunday mass. I thought I was the only romance-writing reprobate who was going straight to hell when leaving this world. Thankfully, I was mistaken. I won’t be alone. A dear friend who shall remain nameless, and author Jennifer Probst (who confessed to the same sinful behavior in her book Write Naked), will join me in eternal damnation. Hell will never be the same.

Finally, for when I actually do listen to what you’re saying, I apologize for silently correcting your grammar and pronunciation.Yes, writers do that. We can’t help ourselves.

Despite all of the above, we fervently hope you have a forgiving nature and will continue to buy our books. Please?

One of my works in progress is a science fiction romance entitled The Star Tripper. [Think Xena, Warrior Princess meets Star Trek meets Pirates of the Caribbean.] I aimed for 400 pages worth of manuscript. Star Tripper topped out at 598. Whoa. Talk about verbose. Apparently, I write the way I speak—too much and too long. ::sigh::

Star Tripper needed a trim. A few months back, I went through it to cut here and there, hoping it would do the trick. It didn’t. I was too emotionally attached to my brilliant prose to eliminate very much of it, and I didn’t make a dent. I cut only ten pages. Major fail.

Something, maybe many things, had to change. My work habits for one. I took some advice I received at a recent Mid-Michigan RWA luncheon program [Thank you, Darcy Woods!]. I ignored my email. ::gaaahhh:: I weaned myself off social media. ::gasp:: I turned off my Wi-Fi connection altogether. ::gulp:: I stopped watching TV. ::funny, didn’t miss that:: I did it all cold turkey and it was amazingly freeing.

I needed to change my mindset too, obviously. I was far too enamored with every word I wrote. Not long ago, I did some editing for an online publisher. I was objective and professional with the work of others. It occurred to me that I need to adopt that attitude when editing my own work. I needed to be objective. I needed to be ruthless. I needed to be page-slashing Machete Woman.

On my first day as my new persona, Machete Woman, I cut five pages from chapter one. On the second day as my new super hero MW, I cut five pages from chapter two. That was as many pages total as I cut during my first round of cuts. Wow! On day three, I cut four pages from chapter three. I cut four pages from chapter four on day four. Yay, me!

Last night, I revised chapter twenty-two, cutting seven pages, my best effort to date. As of yesterday, my total of pages cut is eighty-six. I have twelve more chapters to go, and the new me is rocking the cutting.

Machete Woman rules! 

On Tuesday evening, I attended a fiction writer’s panel comprised of five female authors at a Schuler’s bookstore.

Same day. Same time. Same bookstore. Same authors: Lyssa Kay Adams, Alyssa Alexander, Meika Usher, Alexandria Sure and Elizabeth Heiter.

The two events, sponsored by the Capital City Writers Association, were held in conjunction. First the panel, then the signing. The authors were very personable when they introduced themselves. They discussed what they write, they told about their books and latest releases, and then took questions from the audience. They also exchanged banter amongst themselves that amused their audience. There was a sizeable turnout and the authors sold a lot of books. It was a very successful evening. On the drive home, I pondered what made this book signing so much more successful and enjoyable than other book signings I’ve attended.

You know what a typical book signing is like. An author, or two or more authors sit at a table at the front of a bookstore with their books stacked in front of them beside promotional pens and bookmarks to give away. A poster out front publicizes the signing for passersby. So uninspiring.

Some authors set out candy or cookies at their signings to lure readers to their table, silently hoping that a reader with a sweet tooth will buy at least one book. So desperate.

Authors signing solo sometimes persuade friends to accompany them for moral support. Occasionally their friends volunteer to act as shills. They buy a book to prime the pump and also talk up the writer to prospective buyers so the signing won’t be a complete waste of time. So devious.

A light bulb flashed on over my head as I drove. (Not one of the car’s overhead cabin lights, mind you.) It was a brilliant epiphany light bulb. Suddenly I knew the key to a successful book signing. I witnessed it on Tuesday evening but didn’t realize the implication until I remembered something MG once said about selling. He told me that a good salesman just sells his product. A great salesman sells himself as well. In a way, that reminds me of author branding.

Tuesday’s author panel allowed the audience to get to know and like the authors as people—their personalities, sense of humor, personal stories, and why they became writers. They were no longer strangers who wrote books. Their interaction with the audience made them accessible—the kind of folks you’d like to join for lunch or drinks. In effect, participating on the panel prior to the signing gave the authors the opportunity to sell themselves to the audience first. All of which led to the book sales on Tuesday evening, enabling the authors to acquire new readers, and will undoubtedly lead to sales of future titles for these authors.

In my humble opinion, the following is a sure fire recipe for a successful book signing event.

List of Ingredients:

• A popular bookstore that supports local authors
• Pre-signing publicity
• 3 to 5 authors and their books
• Authors’ panel prior to the signing in which the authors introduce themselves and describe their writing
• Q&A following panel discussion
• Prize drawings for attendees who ask questions of the panel
• Book signing and book sale following the panel

Feel free to share this recipe (that I swiped from the CCWA) with all your writer friends.

If you had to depart to read the 2014 Retreat post, welcome back and join this blog post in progress. Just kidding. I waited for you.

2015 marked Retreat’s 30th Anniversary, and we celebrated in style at the gorgeous Bay Pointe Inn on Gun Lake in Shelbyville, Michigan. For this milestone anniversary we needed a milestone guest author and speaker, and we got one. Our very special guest for 2015 was none other than Rita Clay Estrada, Romance Writers of America’s^® founding mother! The Rita, who started RWA^® under her own roof! The Rita that The Rita Award^® is named for! W00t to the nth degree!!!

At the Friday night Meet and Greet in the Inn’s Boathouse we got together with old friends and made new ones—including Rita—while we feasted on delectable hot and cold hors d’oeuvres, soft drinks, adult beverages, and mini-sized desserts. And we talked, and talked, and talked about everything. Children. Grandchildren. Husbands. Significant others. Day jobs. Writing. Mostly about writing. We wisely steered clear of politics.

On Saturday morning, we devoured the contents of a hearty and delicious buffet breakfast, and then it was on to the Fireside Room for the main event—the talk given by Rita Clay Estrada. Did I mention that she is RWA’s^® founding mother?

Rita did not disappoint. She held us in thrall with her fascinating story of how Romance Writers of America^® came to be. She recounted the early struggles she and a small group of romance writers endured with publishers, editors, and literary agents who were rude to them and too shortsighted to appreciate the appeal and profitability of romance novels, and she told of both past and recent legal battles with publishing houses. When publishing houses finally saw the light, they dictated a strict formula for the extent of sensuality in romance novels: two kisses and a grope. ::snicker, snort:: We all had a hearty laugh over that. She described RWA’s^® first conference, held in her home with the attending writers sleeping on the floor in their own sleeping bags on the floors of every room in her house.

Rita attributes RWA’s^® success to women’s long history of helping one another and working together in communities. As a professional writers’ association, RWA^® is unique in this respect. At our national conference and in our local chapters, RWA^® members support one another and cheer each other on. Published authors help unpublished authors to improve their writing and mentor them on the road to publishing success. No other writers’ organization does this, and no other writers’ organization has as many members—over 10,000 strong at last count—and RWA^® also has members in foreign countries.

She broke our hearts when she revealed that many early romance writers didn’t have a happily ever after of their own. Not all the husbands of married writers were pleased by their wives’ publishing success. In some cases, marriages ended in divorce. In other cases, writers suffered abuse at the hands of their husbands, and some writers paid the ultimate price for pursuing their dreams despite their husbands’ disapproval—their husbands murdered them.

Rita chronicled the progress made by romance writers through the years. She also described how romance is the only literary genre that can merge with other genres to create new subgenres, such as romantic suspense, science fiction and paranormal romance, historical romance, western romance, and so on.

Rita’s talk was poignant, amusing, encouraging and inspiring. She energized us all.

On Saturday night in the Boathouse, the champagne (and sparkling grape juice) flowed and helped to wash down the delectable anniversary cake. The slice I inhaled immediately attached itself to my hips and thighs. Undaunted, a little later on I shamelessly scored a plate of hors d’oeuvres that were leftover from Friday night’s Meet and Greet. I had lots of company doing so. Thank goodness for the Lazarus Connection. I may have burned up some of those calories laughing while they performed their hilarious song parodies. They had Rita in stitches too. They wrote a song parody just for her. She took videos of their performance.

We also celebrated a first sale, a Rita Award^® nomination, and a Golden Heart^® nomination, and bestowed the 2014 Angel Award for Service to fellow MMRWA Member and Retreat Chairwoman, Annie O’Rourke. It was a big and glorious night all around.

As I began writing this post, it was Sunday morning, and Retreat was winding down. After another huge buffet breakfast that will undoubtedly compromise our bathroom scales when we return home, we took our commemorative group photo with our special guest. Afterward, several of us lined up to have our pictures taken with Rita. Belatedly, I suggested charging five dollars a pop for a photo with Rita to raise money for our local chapter. Too belatedly. Drat. A potentially lucrative opportunity lost.

After the photo shoot, we gathered in small groups in the Inn’s Fireside Room socializing and networking. A few, like me, were seated in corners in smaller groups, silent and writing. We were participating in the Retreat’s first write-in.

What, you may ask, is a write-in? In some ways a write-in is sort of like a sit-in, except you write instead of protest and you sit on chairs instead of the floor. It lasts for two hours instead of until the police come and drag you off to jail, and you score a considerable word count instead of a criminal record.

After a brief chapter business meeting—at seven minutes it was one of the shortest on record—we said our goodbyes. I was having such a wonderful time I didn’t want to leave, but Retreat 2015 was over, and there was always next year. ;;sigh:: If only a year was shorter than 365 days.