For the past several years in January, February and early March, Macho Guy and I have wintered in the western end of the Florida Panhandle—which, unlike the rest of Florida, happens to be in the Central Time Zone. It takes a while to get used to the time shift. By the time we have reset our body clocks and are used to Central Time, our winter vacation is over and we have to pack our bags and return home.
This time around, going back to Eastern Time from Central Time turned out to be decidedly more difficult. The switch from Standard Time to Daylight Savings Time followed right on the heels of our return to Michigan. Losing two hours of time in quick succession made me feel as if I had jet lag.
For at least a week after Daylight Savings Time began, Macho Guy took great delight in setting Schnoodle Dog on me to get me out of bed in the morning. Trust me when I state that a cold wet Schnoodle nose beats out an irritating alarm clock buzzer every time. If an alarm clock annoys me, I can shove it in a drawer, smash it or fling it across the room. No way could I or would I do that to make Schnoodle Dog stop poking his cold wet nose in my face or pulling the covers off me when I try to escape from contact with said cold wet nose. Macho Guy, the sadist, is acutely aware of that.
After being home a while, I find myself missing Central Time whenever I watch my favorite television shows at their usually scheduled times. When it comes to TV viewing, the Central Time Zone cannot be beat. I discovered this the first time I travelled across the Mississippi to the Corn Belt to meet Macho Guy’s family after we became engaged. I never realized how privileged Midwesterners were until his folks turned on their television. I learned then that they were able to see my favorite shows an hour earlier than I could in the Eastern Time Zone.
No fair.
This was rank discrimination against Easterners on the part of television broadcasters. I was filled with righteous indignation and a little envy. More than a little envy. More like a Seven Deadly Sins quality of Envy with a capital E.
Unlike me, Midwesterners didn’t have to endure syndicated game shows or repeats of reruns of old TV series at 7:00 p.m. For them, network prime time began at 7:00 p.m. What was the Eleven O’clock News back East was the Ten O’clock News in Central Time, which meant late night shows like The Tonight Show were broadcast at 10:35 p.m. instead of 11:35 p.m. In the Midwest, I could watch the entire Tonight Show without worrying that I wouldn’t be able to drag myself out of bed early the next morning to go to work. In the Eastern Time Zone, it still presented a problem.
Again, no fair.
I needed to find a way to fight back against this cruel injustice. As luck would have it, a group of unlikely heroes eventually came to my rescue. The techie geeks of the world took up this worthwhile cause by inventing gadgets to allow for time shifting TV viewing—first the VCR and then the DVR. They cured me of Central Time Zone Envy. Thanks to those time-shifting gadgets, I can watch what I want whenever I want and however many times I want no matter what time zone I happen to be in. And why not?
It’s only fair.
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