At times, being an English Major can be sheer torture. Listening while others butcher the English language is cruel and unusual punishment. I shudder when I hear the pompous speakers among us using me, myself, and I interchangeably. My dentist tells me I must stop grinding my teeth, but how can I when so many insist on saying I seen instead of I saw? If I hear one more person say I seen, I will not be responsible for my actions.
I’ve been away from my keyboard for a few weeks now. Did you miss me? Um, never mind. Don’t answer that. I wasn’t gone by choice. Circumstances beyond my control kept me from making my weekly appearances.
At first, I was separated from my keyboard because of winter vacation activities. While I missed writing my blog, thankfully I did have fun with MG and our friends, and with my Baby Sister and BIL.
Our Chevy Traverse, MG, and I made it home from Florida all in one piece, no thanks to I-75, its construction work, and its stop and go traffic jams. After two long and tedious days on the road, I have come to loathe the word merge.
You know the unholy dread you experience if you are desperate to use the necessary room to have a BM but you’re out in public, or at work, or at a friend’s house? How does one disguise or eliminate the resulting offensive odor? In a public restroom, courtesy flushes often aren’t quick enough or thorough enough. Eww. Open a window at a friend’s house, perhaps. If there is no window you could turn on the exhaust fan, but that’s a dead give away. Perhaps your host or hostess had judiciously placed a scented candle in the necessary room for just such an occasion. Excellent idea, if there is a match to be had. Oh, poo.
There is salvation from the torment mentioned above. Just ask the British, but be prepared to laugh. The Brits have a wonderfully dry, irreverent, off the wall sense of humor–or humour, as it were–especially when it comes to bathroom humor. Cottonelle Toilet Tissue’s clean bum/go commando commercials come to mind.
Our family just set up a private Facebook page for its members–and only its family members. The single rule of our page is that we post only fun and positive family stuff and photos–nothing nasty or divisive. That’s what we’re doing, and what a respite it is.
