It has been said among writers that a man writing at home is at work, but a woman writing at home is available—the literary equivalent of the double standard.
When I began freelance writing a number of years back, no one I knew took me seriously. Family, friends and acquaintances exchanged knowing looks and their eyebrows arched when I said I would be at my desk writing while my children were in school.
I started off each day of writing with the best of intentions, but no sooner did I sit at my desk than the phone rang. There are people who are able to listen to a phone ring and ring without the slightest curiosity about who might be at the other end of the line or what the call might be about. Those people cannot be human.
I answered, of course. The majority of the calls that interrupted my writing sessions turned out to be of the junk variety—solicitors and polltakers, mainly. The rest were from the aforementioned Family, Friends and Acquaintances, and they went something like this:
FF&A: “Hi. Doing anything?”
Me: “Writing.”
FF&A: “Oh, good. I was afraid you might be busy.”
I never cared for answering machines, but it occurred to me that using one of those annoying gadgets to screen my calls might ease my stress. I held my nose and bought one. Since I was stuck having to use an answering machine, I decided to make the best of it. My recorded greeting would not be dull and unimaginative. Mine would be creative. Mine would be fun.
If you’ve ever seen a rerun of the old Mission Impossible TV series, you probably remember how Mr. Phelps received his orders. I chose to create a parody of those orders in my recorded greeting.
“You have reached our family headquarters. It is impossible for us to answer the phone. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave your name, number and a message. Should you be caught hanging up, the electronic secretary will disavow any knowledge of your activities. At the sound of the tone, you will have twenty seconds to complete your mission. Good luck.”
I learned something valuable from recording that greeting—sometimes it doesn’t pay to be too creative. I eventually had to change my greeting because my phone rang even more than it had before, and all the interruptions played havoc with my concentration. Apparently, the word got around and just about everyone was calling my number just to hear the goofy greeting.
8 Responses to “For Whom Ma Bell Tolls”
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
Isn’t that always the way? Raised eyebrows, interrupting phone calls…yep. Been there. But we still have to write, don’t we? Because that’s what we’re meant to do!
There’s another reason I have to write. If I don’t write for more than a couple of days, I begin getting headaches because my characters are pounding on the inside of my skull demanding that I write about them or they’ll make my head explode.
LOVE the outgoing message! I would been one of those people who called a second time, because the first time I heard it I would have laughed so hard I wouldn’t have been able to leave a message.
Oh, yes. Several callers giggled or laughed and hung up without leaving a message. That fiasco was my husband’s first real clue about what his life would be like being married to a writer.
I love it, both your web site and your answering machine message. I can see why the phone calls increased. What fun to listen to something like that.
Hope you’re now finding time to write.
Thank you for the kind words. 🙂
Strangely enough, I’m getting more writing done since I began blogging because I had to become more organized. Imagine that?
My best friend when I am writing, and even when I’m not, is Caller ID. I can see at a glance if I need to answer the call right then. It takes care of a lot of those annoying calls that the Do Not Call List doesn’t seem to take care of, but I don’t miss something important.
Congrats on the new website! Very nice.
I have caller ID now–couldn’t exist without it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t available at the time I created that Mission Impossible greeting for the answering system.
I’m so glad you like the website. I think Rebel Yell Designs did a great job.:)