Came the Ninja

Hey, doesn’t that sound like a great title for an adventure story? Well, don’t get too excited. This isn’t an adventure story. Not that kind, anyway. This story is an adventure in shopping. Yes, I know. It’s my least favorite thing to do, but bear with me.

The Ninja in question isn’t a legendary Japanese warrior. It’s my new small kitchen appliance. Macho Guy refers to it as my new toy. He bought it for me after he bought himself an old boy toy—a Mustang GT convertible. I suppose, according to male logic, he believed that evened the score.

On a visit to Firstborn and his family, I admired the Ninja 3-in-1 Cooking System our DIL used to cook several meals. Actually, I suppose it was more like I drooled at the sight of it. All right, I’ll be honest with you. I outright coveted that Ninja 3-in-1 Cooking System. (I hope that doesn’t mean I have to go to confession.) My hopes of acquiring one were dashed, however, when I discovered the Ninja 3-in-1 cost $159.99.

[Now, is there anyone out there who thinks pricing an item at $159.99 convinces a customer that he is saving a bundle by not paying $160.00 for it? But I digress.]

I never spent that much on a crockpot—albeit a glorified crockpot—in my life, and I wasn’t about to do so at this juncture. Unbeknownst to me, Macho Guy decided to surprise me with a Ninja 3-in-1 and went shopping for it. Alone. By himself. Without me.

Were I aware, it would have struck fear into my heart. Whenever he goes shopping alone to buy something for me—well, that’s another story. Several stories, technically. All of them horror stories, in fact.

I was getting ready to prepare dinner when I received the fateful cell phone call from him.

MG: Hi, Honey. Remember that Ninja crockpot thing you liked?

ME: Yes . . . Why?

MG: Well, I wanted to surprise you with one.

ME: Um, why tell me if you wanted it to be a surprise?

MG: Darn things sure are expensive.

ME: [Thinking, “So is a Mustang GT convertible.”] I know.

MG: I thought I should get your input on something first.

ME: Okay. What?

MG: I went to a bunch of stores and most had the Ninjas at the same price, but when I went into the Meijer store, they had one for less.

ME: [My ears perked up.] How much less?

MG: Here’s the deal. It’s the display model on the shelf. They lost the box it came in so they marked it down. The price tag has it marked down to $95.99, but—

ME: Wow! Let me see how much less. [I begin scribbling numbers on a piece of paper. I’m not good at doing math in my head.]

MG: [The Engineer] $64.00, but—

ME: Cool, but is anything missing? Is it in good condition?

MG: Looks brand new and the saleslady said nothing’s missing.

ME: It sounds like a good deal then.

MG: Yeah, and it gets better. You didn’t let me finish. It was marked down to $95.99. Now it’s on clearance at $72.00—55% off. We’d save eight-eight bucks.

ME: [Eloquently] Huh?

MG: Yep.

ME: [Incredulous] Just because it isn’t in a box?

MG: Yep. I was going to buy it and surprise you, but knowing how picky you can be, I thought you’d better look it over first and see if you want to buy it without the box. I’m coming home right now to get you.

ME: [Ignoring the picky comment.] Okay, but get going. Somebody else might buy it before us if you don’t get me there fast enough.

Cutting to the chase: the display model was in perfect condition—not a scratch on it, the accessories were all there, and the owner’s manual and other documentation were also intact. I seized the Ninja, with Macho Guy’s help, and put it into our shopping cart. Once we got it home, the bargain-scoring bragging to family and friends commenced.

I must say I was surprised by Macho Guy’s household bargain hunting savvy. I knew he could do it with cars, of course, but who knew he could pull off such a coup with small kitchen appliances? It was nothing less than heroic!

Now that Macho Guy has established his creds as a bargain hunter, I’ll have to reevaluate my fear of allowing him to buy a gift for me on his own. I can’t help wondering what he might be able to accomplish if he went bargain hunting for a first edition Jane Austen novel. 🙂

What about you? Do you live in fear when your spouse shops alone for a gift for you? Or not. Let’s hear about it.