May 202015
 

I’ve never admitted this before. I thought it best not to, because people don’t always understand and so they send for the men in white coats who dress you in that tight-fitting and incredibly unfashionable jacket.

I name my cars.

05-20-15 Christine

Why would an intelligent woman such as moi name her cars, you may ask?  Isn’t that a Stephen King Christine sort of thing? Not necessarily. You see, ever since I saw The Love Bug, that Disney movie about Herbie the Volkswagen Beetle who was sentient in his own mechanical way, I decided to treat my first car with respect and affection—just in case it’s alive—so I gave it a name.

05-20-15 Love Bug

I try to give my cars names that suit them. For example, I once had a Chevy Astro van that I called Van Go-Go. It was a van, it was always on the go hauling kids and groceries, and I loved the play on Vincent’s name. Shameless, I know.

I become very attached to my cars. I bond with them. I hold onto them for a decade or more before being persuaded to upgrade to a newer model. For Macho Guy, the car thrill is gone after a couple of years, and he wants something newer, hotter, faster. I consider myself fortunate that he only feels that way about cars. 😉

A few years ago, when my Jeep Grand Cherokee Ltd topped eleven years old, MG persuaded me to trade Kee-Kee in on a crossover we could pack to the roof with our gear and drive it down to Florida in winter. MG went on reconnaissance first, scoped out the possibilities, and narrowed the choices down to two that fit our budget: a Chevy Equinox and a GMC Terrain. Both vehicles were fine, but neither convinced me to give up Kee-Kee.

MG noticed that I wasn’t turning cartwheels over either of his choices, and it was going to be my car, after all. He asked what I thought of the two. I was non-committal. I just shrugged. He let out a very resigned sigh . . .

MG: There is one other crossover I looked at, but I’m not sure I should show it to you.

ME: Why?

MG: Because I know you’ll want it.

ME: [with ears perked up] Oh?

He was sooooo right. The moment I sat in the driver’s seat, I lusted after the Ford Edge.

SALESLADY: The Edge has digital controls. Its touch screen has four quadrants: navigation, entertainment, climate, and phone. You can pair your phone with the SYNC system, and then receive and make hands free phone calls through the car. Use this button on the steering wheel to interact with the computer to tell it what you want.

ME: [in hushed tones] The car has a computer I can talk to?

She pressed the button to demonstrate, and I heard a harp like tone and then a female voice.

COMPUTER: Say a command.

It spoke! Just like the computer on Star Trek’s Enterprise! I got so excited I almost needed a change of underwear.

ME: [over the moon giddy] This is like piloting the Enterprise shuttlecraft!

05-20-15 Shuttlecraft

MG: [from the back seat] I knew she’d like it. She’d buy a dump truck if it had all these gadgets.

There was never any doubt that we would buy the Ford Edge Ltd with its talking computer, geek girl that I am. The only decision remaining was what I would name my new Edge. That decision was an easy one. I named her after the actress who provided the starship Enterprise’s computer voice.

I call my Edge Majel.
05-20-15 Ford Edge 2

  • My husband love cars, but I do. Once owned a 1964 white mustang with no back up lights. The engineers forgot to design them.

    • Rohn, I am sitting here shaking my head. Seriously, how could they forget the back up lights? I’ll bet there were a lot of red faces in Ford’s Engineering Department after that episode.

  • Paul Dellinger

    Aha! You are Ms. Knight Rider as well. The real world has caught up with SF, Star Trek-wise. (Even the flip phones, that would do everything but beam you up that they did on the show, are obsolete.)

    • You’re right, Paul. It’s amazing how science fiction has become science fact.

  • I love gadgets, too! Great name for the car. My Volt has a lot of great features that make running errands a lot more fun these days. Of course, now I don’t have a bunch of sweaty, whining teenagers to cart around, so I’m able to enjoy driving.

    • Patty, if you’re a Harry Potter fan, you could name your car Lord Voltemort. 🙂

  • I sort of name my cars… my tracker was my fairy mobile. Of course it had fairy stickers on each window. The new fusion that I have doesn’t have a fun nickname yet….I haven’t had it long enough I guess.

    • Melissa, the Fusion is a stylish car. “Fusionista” (a play on fashionista) comes to mind, if you find yourself stuck for a name.

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