It wasn’t always that way. I used to get on the treadmill for a workout soon after Macho Guy left for work in the morning. I walked for at least thirty minutes.
That changed when Macho Guy decided to retire earlier than planned. You know that joke you hear from women whose husbands have retired? Twice as much husband; half as much income. It’s not a joke, and it’s far from funny. Way too far.
Once upon a time, Monday through Friday, I had a daily routine that worked for me. That daily routine went the way of the dodo. It was seldom seen, and then it became extinct. Macho Guy’s routine reigned in its place. As a consequence, my exercise regimen also went the way of the dodo.
While I was visiting my baby sister in Florida not long ago, she introduced me to the Nintendo Wii Fit. We had a blast doing the various exercise sessions together. Had you been a fly on the wall when we did the dance workout, you would have fallen off the wall from laughing hard, especially when we worked out to MC Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This” while trying to imitate his silhouette’s moves. Thought I was going to die from muscle fatigue and oxygen deprivation. On the bright side, I scored a high of 10,000 points and impressed the socks off my baby sister—she didn’t believe I had the moves. [Neither did I.]
Once I returned home to Michigan, I determined to have a Wii Fit of my own. I figured I could be doing the fun Wii workouts while Macho guy hogged the treadmill. We’d both get exercise and stay pretty much on the same schedule. Macho Guy resisted, as he usually does if anything computerized is involved. He groused and he grumbled but he eventually caved—after I went ahead and ordered a Wii Fit for myself.
The family room seemed the perfect venue to set up the Wii. For one thing, the family room is large and roomy, informal, and the home of the honking big Monster Flat Screen HDTV, ideal for connecting to game consoles. When I opened the shipping box and began unpacking all the Wii equipment, I realized it was going to take a while to put it all together. First, I had to read the enclosed manuals. Setup was at least as involved as creating a home computer network. No, Wii weren’t there yet.
I spread all the Wii components and accessories on top of the pool table and got to work. I secured the sensor bar atop the TV. I plugged in the A-V component jacks. I plugged both cables into the Wii console. With difficulty, I plugged the Wii console into the media power strip behind the Monster HDTV. It was difficult because the Monster HDTV was blocking the way.
I turned the TV on. I got out my controller, put batteries in it, and turned the Wii console on. I entered all the proper settings. I created a Mii avatar that doesn’t look a heck of a lot like me, but that’s probably a good thing. I synced the exercise balance board with the console. It didn’t like how much I weighed. Dang. Everyone’s a critic.
I slipped in a fitness disk and answered a bunch of personal questions from the Wii. It wanted to know my height, my weight, and my age. I thought this was going to be fun but now I’m not so sure. If I don’t do something right the first time, the Wii makes me do it again. The Wii made me set a goal for how much weight I plan to lose and how long it would take me to meet that goal. It wants me to work out every day and it plans to chart my progress, or lack thereof. I doubt I will get away with any slacking off tomorrow—or any other day, for that matter. The Wii Fit is a harsh mistress.